Good bye, 2005...
I just spent the past two and a half hours finishing a book that I've been reading. It's been a while since I've done that. It's been a while since I've done a lot of things, like not shower for four days. Pretty gross...but it gave me a sense of freedom that I haven't had in a while. For four whole days there were no feelings of being lazy, hogging space or being just plain boring. I slept, ate, cleaned and showered when I wanted. It was empowering! But back to this book...
It's called "The Summer I Dared" and a woman lives through this devastating accident and realizes she needs to make some changes and start living for herself. I've come to that sort of realization in the past year as well. It was one year ago today that my boyfriend of three and half years broke my heart after asking my father for my hand in marriage, us co-signing a new truck for him and moving my entire life to an apartment we were supposed to share (that I payed half of everything and didn't stay in more than one month on a 9 month lease!) I don't write this to have pity or sympathy, just setting the stage. I know that nothing happened to me that I didn't allow or enable.
So, one year ago today, January 2nd, I became an independent woman. I don't think many people thought I would come through the break up. I have to admit I have led a pretty pathetic life. There have been many times I thought things would be better off...anyway, not gonna finish that thought. The night I confronted him about the break up I tried to show how strong I could be and defiantly told him he would be back...and he has been.
I have spent the past year making changes in my life, some have been drastic and others have been subtle and often unnoticed. I am slowly working towards loving myself, something I haven't felt since...high school? I'm not sure if that's true. I know I liked myself a bit, but I'm not sure if I've ever truly loved myself...does anyone?
Over the past year I have made new friends, rekindled old relationships, lost some very important ones and some not so important ones. I have had a few flings, been stalked a bit, tried on-line dating and realized it's not for me. I've taken on new roles and let go of some old ones. Quit my job about a million times...in my head.
One of the things I'm most proud of is my limitation of alcohol. The realization that I don't enjoy the person I am, the things I do when I drink. I've noticed that the friends I used to drink with aren't so entertaining when I haven't been drinking. This may not sound like too much of a victory or revelation to some, but with a fear of alcoholism in my family...it's a giant leap for me.
I have started 2006 with a clear head, a fairly clear heart and the plans of a clean body...until my next vacation. I'm intrigued to see what changes this next year will bring.
Happy New Year!
It's called "The Summer I Dared" and a woman lives through this devastating accident and realizes she needs to make some changes and start living for herself. I've come to that sort of realization in the past year as well. It was one year ago today that my boyfriend of three and half years broke my heart after asking my father for my hand in marriage, us co-signing a new truck for him and moving my entire life to an apartment we were supposed to share (that I payed half of everything and didn't stay in more than one month on a 9 month lease!) I don't write this to have pity or sympathy, just setting the stage. I know that nothing happened to me that I didn't allow or enable.
So, one year ago today, January 2nd, I became an independent woman. I don't think many people thought I would come through the break up. I have to admit I have led a pretty pathetic life. There have been many times I thought things would be better off...anyway, not gonna finish that thought. The night I confronted him about the break up I tried to show how strong I could be and defiantly told him he would be back...and he has been.
I have spent the past year making changes in my life, some have been drastic and others have been subtle and often unnoticed. I am slowly working towards loving myself, something I haven't felt since...high school? I'm not sure if that's true. I know I liked myself a bit, but I'm not sure if I've ever truly loved myself...does anyone?
Over the past year I have made new friends, rekindled old relationships, lost some very important ones and some not so important ones. I have had a few flings, been stalked a bit, tried on-line dating and realized it's not for me. I've taken on new roles and let go of some old ones. Quit my job about a million times...in my head.
One of the things I'm most proud of is my limitation of alcohol. The realization that I don't enjoy the person I am, the things I do when I drink. I've noticed that the friends I used to drink with aren't so entertaining when I haven't been drinking. This may not sound like too much of a victory or revelation to some, but with a fear of alcoholism in my family...it's a giant leap for me.
I have started 2006 with a clear head, a fairly clear heart and the plans of a clean body...until my next vacation. I'm intrigued to see what changes this next year will bring.
Happy New Year!
posted by Sheri | 1:31 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home